His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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