Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
