I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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