I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
