u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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