i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
