Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
tell me about the eggs