Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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