the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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