Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
