I hate your face
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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