just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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