my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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