I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
