I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
