we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
false alarm, still single
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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