Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
