Sry I called you an 8
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
