I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
