shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
