I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
