I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
