clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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