You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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