If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
