Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
