his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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