I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
