Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
