i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
