I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She said her name was "party"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
