I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize