Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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