I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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