He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
