how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
