she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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