I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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