My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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