Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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