spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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