There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
