forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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