google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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