would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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