i barfeds in our rink
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
