This is not my ceiling
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
