that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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