And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
