Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
