a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we're making bets on your personal life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
