i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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