No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
