I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
