can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
