Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
