Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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