Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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