Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
