there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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