Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
