I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I cut my penus on the lid.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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