i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
