Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
